Competition
by Impassive Tears
Summary: Craig and Stan never quite saw eye to eye. Craig/Tweek, Stan/Kyle, Butters/Kenny.
1. Prologue

"Hey, Craig." Stan wandered over to where the fellow raven was, pulling himself up onto the wall next to him. Craig slipped his phone in his pocket, grey eyes snapping to Stan in acknowledgement. When Craig didn't return his greeting, Stan decided to engage in conversation.

"Who're you waiting for?" Stan asked, keeping a cautious eye on the clusters of students at their desks contained inside the study hall they could see into. Kyle was one of them, multitasking as always. He was writing something in a furious manner with one hand, with his wrong hand, might Stan add, checking the time every 5 minutes, holding a book open with his other, and tapping his shoes on the ground.

"Tweek." Craig deadpanned, not bothering to give any more details. Stan nodded. Of course. Tweek and Craig were an odd couple. First, they had been just classmates, then they had a fight, then they became enemies, then they became friends, then they became best friends, then middle school hit and they drifted apart, and now they were inseparable lovers. It made Stan's head hurt. He was glad how stress-free and uncomplicated his relationship with Kyle was.

Yet, Stan raised a brow. The exams the high school pupils were taking part in weren't mandatory. He couldn't figure out why Tweek would sign up for the trauma that was revising and doing those particular tests, in which the guvnors identify gifted and talented. Stan didn't have a clue what Tweek's gifts or talents were. "Why –" Stan asked, before being cut off.

"He's a really good writer." Craig informed him, eyes narrowing at the concept of someone underestimating his boyfriend. "He's doing it, for me." His lips twitched slightly before frowning. "Let me guess why Kyle is in there…Is it, everything?" Craig taunted, knowing all about Kyle's extreme intelligence.

Stan elbowed him, but Craig gave no indication he was affected. "You're wrong. Biology, actually." Craig rolled his eyes, making Stan scowl. Over the years, the class of South Park elementary had split apart into even smaller groups, but they still all talked to eachother from time to time. Stan wished he was spared the _pleasure _of talking to Craig.

"Biology is no skill or creative input." Craig scoffed. "It's a textbook topic. You've got to be clever to analyse every situ-poem, use the extent of your imagination and put it to good outputs, and the added matter of making sure your grammar is satisfactory." Stan thought doing Biology was quite clever, considering he himself didn't get most basic lessons, like what an alveoli was. Shocking, he knew.

"Whatever, Craig." Stan spat, and before he could stop himself, "Kyle's a way better boyfriend than that twitch will ever be." The comment was unnecessary, towards Tweek, considering Tweek limited his caffeine does as of present, and wasn't as jittery or shaky, though he still had wild theories. To be honest, Tweek was now a perfectly normal boy on the outside, slightly small frame, slightly baby-faced, and pretty, for a male, extremely skinny, but nonetheless, ordinary. He had even tamed his hair, but Stan suspected straighteners in the hands of Craig.

Craig grabbed his shirt, pulling Stan closer, but leaving a decent amount of inches between them. Stan glared, and shoved Craig off. They were equally matched, considering Stan was a jock, and Craig had been in a good deal of fights, and their body shape was twin-like. "His name is Tweek." Craig corrected.

"If you ever call him that again, I will shove what balls you have down your throat." Craig got off of the wall, checking his phone. "Tweek is caring, _clever_, funny, devastatingly attractive, a good listener and so many more things Kyle doesn't cut close to." Craig reeled off, all in a monotone voice, not looking up. "Another thing, _I'm _a better boyfriend than you are, Marsh."

Before Stan could interject, Craig went off, walking straight away from him. Stan glowered.

_Game on._


	2. The Games Begin

*"Craig, I don't get why we're going over there! We never talk to those guys!" Tweek intervened, furrowing his sandy brow eyebrows. Craig ignored him, and led them over to where Stan, Kyle and Kenny were, an arm around Tweek's waist. Cartman had long since moved away. Good riddance, for the best of them.

Stan looked up from his conversation with Kyle, his eyes narrowing. They were having a silent dispute, Stan knew it. He would be damned if he lost it to Craig Tucker. He shoved Kyle's Kosher lunch away and grabbed the red-head's hoodie, drawing him to kiss. Kenny's eyes fell upon them, a smirk sneaking up on his face as he put down the playboy magazine.

Craig immediately held onto Tweek tightly, connecting their lips. Tweek protested at first, confused and embarrassed, but soon gave into it, his fingers tangling in Craig's hair. Both Stan's and Craig's eyes were open, trying to outdo each other. Stan's hands gripped Kyle's shoulders, Craig's hand went up Tweek's shirt. Stan's fingers inched towards Kyle's crotch, Craig literally started to rub his hips against Tweek's.

Tweek and Kyle decided to stop it there, pushing their boyfriends away from them.

"C-Craig! You pervert!"

"Stan, don't even think about touching me again for awhile!"

Kyle and Tweek ran off, to Kenny's disappointment. Stan glanced at Craig, smiling sadistically at Craig's oh-shit-I-fucked-up face, before realising he wore the same expression. Craig solemnly flipped him off, walking away again, and Stan returned the gesture.

Round 1: Winner: Draw

* * *

The following day, Kyle and Tweek had hesitantly forgiven their boyfriends. As fate would have it, the four were paired up in a group project, a structure that was set up weeks prior, before the competition had only began. Not that Craig thought of it as competition.

More like life or death. Dignity or shame.

Something like that, though really it was who made the best couple out of the four, the best boyfriend out of the two. Tweek was starting to feel a bit on edge, considering Craig was being majorly more attentive than usual. Every few minutes Craig would ask Tweek if he was okay, help him with things he didn't need help for, and generally coddled him. Stan was no different, and the boys exchanged questioning looks from time to time, wondering what was up with their respective boyfriends.

Finally, Tweek and Kyle were granted sweet, sweet release, in the form of Spanish. Normally, they would just be waved off so it was odd to see Craig outright telling Tweek he would miss him and he loved him. The words weren't shocking for Tweek to hear, but he never said them in front of other people, especially when they were holding hands and Craig was staring at Tweek like some corny romance movie.

Stan was even queerer, practically tripping over his feet to open the door for Kyle, and walking him to his lesson, despite the fact he had to get to his own one. Tweek simply shook Craig off when he offered, feeling slightly freaked out and suspicious of the new, clingy Craig.

Round 2: Winner: Stan

* * *

Craig was with Tweek in his room, a series of moans emitting from inside the brown walls – brown was neutral. Craig already had his hands down Tweek's jeans, and Tweek was working on taking his top off. Craig kissed him again, nipping him on the lip, and parted them again, panting. "Tweek, I have an idea…" He began, pressing their foreheads together.

"Okay?" Tweek tilted his head slightly, settling on putting his hands on Craig's chests when Craig didn't lift his arms so he could tear the clothing article off. Craig touched him again, making Tweek gasp.

Craig's lips went to Tweek's ear. "Maybe," He purred, making Tweek shiver. "We should make a sex tape."

Craig spent the rest of the night alone.

-x-

"Hey, Tucker." Stan hissed from across the table in D.T. Craig looked up, twirling a pencil in his long fingers and narrowing his eyes. Stan pointed at his phone, and turned away. Craig took out his own one, glaring at the images of a very naked Kyle Stan had sent him.

Round 3: Winner: Stan

* * *

Tweek and Kyle were still confused over their recent group formation, with Stan and Craig constantly forcing their lovers to hang out with each other. They didn't mind too much, considering they were friends, but something wasn't right. Kyle suspected rivalry, and Tweek, well, Tweek suspected a gnome-made potion.

For example, the four were currently at a cinema, watching _The Fault In Our Stars_. Kyle stopped himself from snapping when he saw Stan was staring at Tweek and Craig the whole time, instead of looking at him. If Kyle was as paranoid as say, Tweek, he would have accused Stan of wanting a bleeding polygamous relationship with them.

"Stan." Kyle elbowed his boyfriend, as Stan looked back to him, and Craig looked over too, smirking. Stan blinked, finally ignoring Craig, and turned to the screen, putting his arm around Kyle. A lot of the movie had already gone by, and Craig rolled his eyes at Stan's move. He looked down at Tweek, who was snivelling when it got to the point of Augustus' funeral, and he smiled softly, ducking down and wrapping his arms around Tweek, pulling him closer.

"Shhh, it's alright, Tweek." Stan watched from the corner of his eye, fuming. Tweek was comforted in less than a minute, his head in Craig's chest after kissing the noriette quickly. The film ended, with Craig and Tweek still embracing as they walked out, Craig's arm around Tweek's waist.

Stan dismissed them. "Wanna go to my place? My parents and Shelly aren't home." He persuaded as they walked out the doors, Craig not far behind. Kyle considered, before shaking his head, heading off, to Stan's dismay and humiliation. Kyle just wasn't having the odd, bipolar behaviour.

Stan whirled back round, glowering as he saw Craig mutter something in Tweek's ear, making him blush. The two went off without a glance to Stan, but Craig kindly graced him a goodbye from his middle finger.

Round 4: Winner: Craig

* * *

The next level was at the summer party, bluntly hosted by Token. It got to the point where it was still light out, and people were hammered, and acting childish, and thus became the competitions.

The first was the traditional piggyback race, and Craig and Stan were quick to volunteer. Tweek, being the skinny fuck he was, jumped onto Craig's back with no difficulty, his head resting on Craig's shoulder to kiss him as Craig moved his head up.

Stan and Kyle were slightly more complicated. For one, Kyle didn't see why he couldn't carry Stan, and when he caved in, not wanting to get into an awkward dispute, Kyle simply collapsed from the weight. It was then decided it would be Stan, and after a few attempts, Kyle settled on Stan's back, his arms tight around his waist.

_Ready. Set. Go._

Stan had an advantage, used to playing sports and running a lot. Then again, Tweek was extremely light, and Craig was a swimmer, using his limbs just as much. To Stan's messily concealed anger, Craig crossed the line a split _second_ before them, Stan was sure.

Round 5: Winner: Craig

* * *

A week later, and the boss battle came about. The ultimate prize of being the best boyfriend and the best couple just under their noses. The mutually assigned challenge? The Brats Love Meter.

No kidding, the boys had snuck off to one of the computer suites come lunchtime, just to go on the name-based compatibility test. Craig typed in his and Tweek's name first, shoving Stan out the way. Craig smirked, looking at the result. 97%.

Stan growled, doing the same test. Both boys looked at the results in shock. 97%. They exchanged glances. Suddenly, a third head popped up, looking at the screen. The head was clad in an orange hoodie, attached to an equally orange parka.

"Heheheh, Buttercup and I got 100% on that." Kenny chuckled, moving back to get his last minute homework done.

Craig and Stan exchanged glances again.

Round 6: Final: Winner: Kenny

* * *

**Omg, omg, guess what?**

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